Sunday, June 3, 2012

Speculation: Television and Childhood

On tumblr, I come across many posts regarding things that induce nostalgia and remind large amounts of people of their childhoods. Or posts about “Only 90’s kids will understand this”. Something I’ve noticed about this is that almost all of them are to do with television. This brings me to believe that every single person in my generation grew up with their faces glued to a television screen – not literally, of course.
It has been a long time since my family has owned a television and, for that reason, I tend to not quite understand all the components that apparently express my generation.
Does television really have that great an impact on our race?
I don’t particularly mind not being completely understanding of all the references. Children’s television is remarkably stupid, actually. To be honest, most television in general is, actually, quite stupid.
{My mother is trying to discourage the use of the word stupid, but I think it was easily justified in this scenario}
I’m not saying that ALL television in stupid. There is a great amount of educational or inspirational television out there. However, I’m not entirely sure what something like “Spongebob Squarepants” aims to achieve at all. But that’s a mild example.
A regularly used example would be something like “Jersey Shore” – I experienced 5 minutes of that once and I do believe I lost an IQ point or two from the exposure – or “Teen Mom”. Promoting teen pregnancy in a way that encourages it is definitely not something that humanity should be doing. Teenage girls should not try to fall pregnant merely for the “fame”. One episode on a television show is not fame.

But I appear to have gone on a tangent again…
Anyway… I just don’t understand how television forms a basis for an entire childhood.
And I’ll end there. Before I actually point out how much of a hypocrite I am because my entire life revolves around Doctor Who and Sherlock…
Oh… damn.


Friday, April 27, 2012

Old Notebook

I found an old notebook of mine. Some posts are rather recent, but some date to about 2 years ago. Seeing development in one’s personality via text on a page is interesting.
I have story ideas, thoughts, drawings and randomness. And a lot of rubbish that I have discarded and will never use.
However, going through story ideas re-inspires me. I feel like continuing some of these stories. Perhaps I should.


Monday, April 9, 2012

I’m back!

Okay, so I spent some time out of my country.
I went to Germany.
It was great.
Now I’m back to vlogging and blogging and chatting and hatting.
So, yeah. That’s good.

Stay Groovy

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

I Am

My mechanical heart does not beat,
a human heart would be obsolete.
My metal frame contains no blood,
instead, I hold an energy flood.

A human brain is not in my possession,
those were the cause of the human recession.
My head is filled with wires and cards,
and pieces of glass filed from shards.

My light filled eyes are made of glass,
they are of the highest class.
My vision will never be impaired,
and all my visions can be shared.

I don’t sleep in the way humans do,
I restore the energy my actions chew.
There is a port on my silicone embedded head,
where a plug enters and energy is fed. 

Technology is replacing the human race,
they’re being removed from the planet’s face.
I am not flesh or blood or bone,
I am an android, cold as stone.


In English, right at the beginning of the year, we had to write something that would describe any chosen person/object using poetry or paragraphs etc.
I wrote this poem about a dystopian-era android describing herself.

Best Wishes

Saturday, March 10, 2012

“Oh, you naked bitch”

So, my noted best friend, Claudia, has been visiting me on this fine evening for a lovely treat of Sherlock fangirling.
She has developed quite a fondness for the perfect being that is Benedict Cumberbatch.
At the moment of writing this, we are watching the episode entitled “A Scandal in Belgravia”, featuring the apparently subtle romantic interest of our dear Sherlock, Irene Adler. Claudia/Mop/Moriarty finds herself in a pit of anger and emotion.
I sit here listening to her rantings about how stupid Ms Adler is, simply for being in the presence of our favourite consulting detective.
And now she is calling the American agents bitches as well as The Woman.
This is quite an interesting little phenomenon of jealous fangirling I bear witness to right now.
She has desires that involve the removal of each molecule in Ms Adler’s body.
Granted, I feel similarly toward my friend and her wishes, but I have mental filters that repress the anger, while Claudia finds herself devoid of any form of filter whatsoever.
And now she is rolling around in anger as a result of the violence imposed on our beloved Sherlock.
“I am going to kill her. How. Dare. She. Slap. Benedict. Cumberbatch.”
“You naked bitch.”
“You narcissistic bitch. The poor man. The poor, beautiful man.”

My friends are awesome.
This is going to be an interesting viewing experience.
Thanks. And stuff.

Thursday, February 16, 2012


So, I began watching Sherlock.
I think I am obsessed. It is brilliant. What more can I say?
And then I found their blogs.
Yes, Sherlock and John’s actual blogs exist and can be read.
But I have a problem.
As I read through Sherlock’s blog and marvel at his amazingness, I feel the overwhelming urge to comment on the things that have been written.
Some part of my mind reaches forth unto the world to a place in which Sherlock Holmes exists.
And then I realise the horrible truth of it all.
And I weep internally.
Sherlock Holmes and John Watson are mere fictional characters of a television show.
I can’t actually say anything to them. For there is no being alive who could read my words directed at these fictional people with a correct identity to actually legitimatise my statement.
And my soul cries.
That is the curse of the fangirl. Of the one with fandoms.
And with a situation like this… I feel so incredibly close to these characters, only to have all that hope stripped away from me.
All I can say is, “Oh.”
I feel like a ghost. Shouting, trying to make myself heard, but they don’t hear me.
That is just sad.
What is my life?

Fangirl depression rant is over
Back to reading Sherlock’s blog.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012


What is this magic? I uploaded videos recently! Magic! 
You will find me in new videos on all three of those.

Other talk now!
It’s always weird how people don’t trust me as a friend just because I’m someone they met online. Why does everyone expect me to be a 40 year old creeper?
Even if they’ve watched my videos.
The same applies for the friends I make IRL. They don’t trust my online friends.
Basically, trust doesn’t exist.
I don’t trust the people either. I don’t have plans of meeting them all or something. I need to know what they look like, in a video or something. I also know more about internet people and I know not to believe EVERYTHING I read from someone. I just know that they can’t harm me while I’m behind a computer screen, a common mistake among human-folk.

Other talk is over now!

Stay Groovy
Best Wishes
All the rest

Saturday, January 21, 2012

Grade 9: Week 1

So, I began the 9th Grade on Wednesday.
It’s been a strange week for me.
It began with an early awakening after very little sleep. I enjoyed seeing my friends again. I received many positive comments about my red hair. That was nice.
Then began registration in which I was given my timetable and forced to give a little biography of myself. It went a little something like this:
“My name is Sinead. I think I am too complex a being to describe in one little biography. Basically, I’m a nerd. I’m proud of being a nerd.” This got applause, to my surprise. “I am a member of the online community known as Nerdfighters. We are nerds. We don’t fight nerds, obviously. Thanks.” and I sat down very awkwardly.
I was then forced to give the very social girl beside me a high five. Ugh, human contact.
Then began assembly. I was very disappointed to learn that I was not in the same class as any of my friends. At least I have Lindsey, though. I think I’ll know her quite well by the end of the year as I spend more time with her than any of my other friends.
I am certain that this year is going to be depressing without random moments in class with Nimisha, Claudia and Giulia.
Day 2 was a little better but I was told that my hair colour is not natural looking and I have until Monday to make it more natural. This was quite disappointing.
My new class is not very Sinead friendly and this could be a little problematic.
I have also received homework every day. This year has been quite stressful and it’s only the first week.
At the end of Day 2, we were given an assembly about the new “merit/demerit” system and I think it is utter rubbish. We have “green card offences”, “yellow card offences” and “red card offences”, all varying in intensity. Basically, having my red hair is a “yellow card offence” and wearing my DFTBA wristband is a “green card”. Green is not good, as you would think. No, instead it’s just more mild than others.
I have also noted the absence of a reward system, so basically my school thinks we are only allowed to be punished. Lovely. Just lovely.
Day 3 began with a piece of paper with information about ourselves on it being handed to each student. Apparently my religious views are “aenostic”, which isn’t even correct as I’m an atheist. Also, how do they know my dexterity? I haven’t told them about my right-handedness. How do they know?
What also worried me about that page was that on each and every form, there was a section labeled “maternity leave”, as though they expect our school to be filled with pregnant sluts. WTF?
This has been a post filled with a certain level of anger and I apologise. Maybe next time I’ll talk about something nice, like Doctor Who.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Internet… I miss you

I think our internet spends more time down than actually available to be used.
Stupid weather.

Anyway, I’m writing this at 2:38 AM on Friday 13 January. I have yet to sleep but I did get some sleep earlier. I’ll probably upload this along with the one I wrote last night during the sleep over I had with my friends later, when I have internet.
My sleeping patterns need to be fixed soon. I go back to school on Wednesday.

I tried vlogging yesterday (Wednesday [days are so confusing]) but as I was uploading there was some stupid error and I couldn’t upload it. I’ll try to make one tomorrow (Friday [again… confusing]) and hopefully I’ll have internet to upload it.
I think people should just read my blog if they want to keep up with me.

Additionally, the procrastination from beginning nothingcollab has to end now. I must make a video on either Monday or Tuesday to be uploaded on Tuesday. If I want to have a collab, I have to start it.

That’s the end… I guess.
I’m not that tired so I’ll probably just lie here thinking.
Ugh. Why can’t I just turn my brain off like normal people.
Anyway, DFTBA and best wishes

Another late post. Sorry!

An Interesting Time

My friends are visiting. We have watched Doctor Who and played Guitar Hero and as I write this, Soul Caliber 4 tournaments occur. It’s 2:12 AM on Thursday 12 January and I have been awake for too long.
Decay in brain activity has begun.

Charlotte has instructed me to inform all my readers of her vastly impressive fighting skills and Giulia’s awesome new haircut (???).
Charlotte has also seemingly fallen in love with the YouTuber savanamazing as a result of her impressive beauty and her “general awesomeness” though she states that she is NOT a lesbian.

Claudia is excited over her new phone, however, she is currently frustrated in the heat of gameplay with Giulia defeating her cruelly as a cold blooded bully.  
Now all our sleep over without sleep is missing is the fantastical Nimisha.
We all miss her and I’m sure she’d like to see us before the return of the common education system known as school.

This particular blog post has been invaded by the almighty Charlotte and she requests that I add various things to the end of this post.

|I_____I|     <---- Robot ^_^   
|   o  o  |   
|__ H__|  

(o.o)    <---- Bunny rabbit ^_^
(n n) 

<========[//////)    <--- Sword

(I would have drawn a Charlotte but my brain is fried) 


Teaching Charlotte some awesome stuff on the computer FTW.

DFTBA and Best Wishes

-hugs sad Claudia- 

Sorry I’m only uploading this today, 20 January. Wow, I’m slow.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Contemplatory Stuff

Contemplatory is not a word? It should be.

I had so much in my mind that I wanted to write down but then it all fizzled into the sadness of contemplatory not being a word. Damn people and their words.
I think I’ve been watching Wheezy Waiter too much because this is kinda how his mind seems to work.

I completed the drawings I did last night. Yaaay! I will scan them in when I can get hold of the scanner and then I’ll upload them with some other stuff.
Wow, I really should find the scanner. There’s a lot that I need to scan.

So, I realized a mere few moments ago that several social filters exist in my head.
For example, the “weird filter” saves me from speaking the very first thing that appears in my head as people may find it odd. This filter is used whenever I am around people. Blogging and vlogging are dangerous because the filter doesn’t automatically turn itself on as it does around others. Sometimes if becomes faulty in quick situations or sleep deprived days, such as today. (I didn’t sleep last night… again)
The existence of the “weird filter” came to my attention when I was in the kitchen, getting breakfast wen I said something odd (that something is currently not available due to terrible memory) and then I was thankful that I was not surrounded by people as I would have received some strange looks.
Sometimes it’s just so random.
Like so:

I wanna be a chair.
Ooh my cereal looks like a robot head!
I wonder what it’s like to be an ant.
I wonder what the Earth tastes like.
Can I adopt Nyan Cat?

This is mild weirdness.

Best Wishes

Explosion Wednesday

How appropriate it is to draw this:
on Explosion Wednesday.
I’ve been drawing a lot tonight. Yes, it’s still the same night.
Scans of both pictures coming soon.
I hate it when the internet is down.
This was written at 2:10 AM on Wednesday 11 January 2012.

DFTBA and Best Wishes (my outro is getting gradually longer)


I was reading the short story “Zombicorns” by John Green when I felt inspired to draw a zombie.
The drawing is coming out well. Something for my Wall Of Stuff. ^_^

Hahaha, live laughing moment as I write. I’m listening to Chameleon Circuit and “Still Not Ginger” is playing. They said zombie. I laughed. You probably had to be there to find it as funny as me.

So, I’m having friends over tomorrow. We’re having a Doctor Who evening. Fun!

The Fault in Our Stars by John Green came out today (10 Jan) and I was a little sad. Thankfully, I can now get it on my tablet through the Kindle app thanks to my awesomely amazing mother. Thanks mum ^_^
I know that as soon as I get it, I won’t put my tablet down for a long time. I can’t wait to get it. Much happy dancing occurred today.

We’ll be in Germany in a few months so I’m trying to arrange a Nerdfighter Gathering. I t would be so awesome to meet other Nerdfighters.

It’s Tuesday today. Damn. I was supposed to make a vlog for nothingcollab. I’m a bit worried that it’ll never happen now.
-frustrated sigh-

Well, back to drawing for me.
DFTBA and Best Wishes

By the way: This was written on 10 January 2012 but it will only be published later due to a lack of internet at the present moment as a result of weather.

Friday, January 6, 2012

My Two Lives

I live a life split into two.
People in the life of mine that I refer to as “real life” filled with physical, observable objects, people and various features refer to me as Sinead. that is the name that I carry around with me, my face being placed with it.
My second life, while not featuring people that I can physically interact with, I can still form relationships with them. I have befriended many people on the internet. I could actually speculate on the fact that I have found a much wider range of people to befriend on the internet and I have made many more friendships online than IRL.
I have a select group of people to whom I refer as my friends. Even these relationships take much time to formulate to a degree at which I can refer to them as friends.
I find it difficult to trust the people I am placed with in life as a result of the personalities I interacted with in earlier years.
I guess the same applies to all aspects of my life. I have a fear of betrayal, I guess.
I don’t see myself ever wholly explaining and expressing myself to any one entity.
Maybe this makes me a loner, a freak, whatever stereotypical label that society decides to give me. I just keep to myself.
While my life is split into two, many features of my personality overflow between the two, as said by my trust issues.
That said, I also express many parts of myself on the internet that I don’t really show to the physical world.

I have friends at school. I think that I have a rather awesome friend group.
Comparing to the people that featured in my life previously, they are perfect.
Sure, people have flaws. As do I. Perhaps they are similar to me in that they also have difficulty expressing themselves to the world.
On the topic of flaws, I was just distracted by the charlieissocoollike video I’m watching and I have lost my concentration. That slice of my train of thought is lost.
Sorry ‘bout that.

Anyway, Internet people.
As a member of the internet, my brain is full of memes, inside jokes and general understanding of what goes on. My friends, however, are not really in on the joke.
This makes it difficult for me, someone who finds the most obscure references from anything, to be completely comfortable in conversation.
I will often reference memes and people will look at me oddly, leaving me trying to make a dire effort to explain the meme, adding more effort than there would be to just say “never mind” and carry on.
I am, however, someone who enjoys sharing my life with them and this has resulted in them also seeing the videos of certain people of the YouTube land, such as Charlie McDonnell and all the rest that I’m too lazy to list now because I’ll be here all night.
Nimisha, classified as my current best friend, is probably the most understanding of the YouTube community. She is a Nerdfighter and she has a YouTube account. She still has a long way to go before being as Internet knowing as I am.
I doubt that any of my friends would ever truly understand all the inside jokes that there are. So sad.
That is where my Nerdfighter friends come into play.
Mareike, a German Nerdfighter, is a friend of mine that I met over the ning. We have now formed a pretty good friendship over Skype, Facebook, YouTube and Tumblr.
She is in the same position as I am in terms of Internet understanding.
We can relate on a certain level and I enjoy talking to her because I am given a certain freedom in conversation, not having to explain all the inside jokes. She naturally notices them in the way that I do.
We also enjoy many of the same YouTubers and we can fangirl together.
I fangirl for Charlie and she fangirls for David Tennent. It’s a perfect friendship. ^_^

I have now rambled way too much.
I’ll shut up now.

What a long outro I have.
I really don’t blame you if you didn’t read that. I’m probably not even going to read it all.

This was written 2 days ago from publishing date.. so yeah.

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

The Path To Insanity

I have fallen prey to the terrible deceit that is madness. My brain has betrayed all my trust. I believed that it would not create such terrible scenarios while I sleep. Instead, I was given nightmares.
I dream of monsters we call zombies. These particular ones are sentient. They taunt me. They follow me around this endless looping world that my dreams have formed. They hide in every corner, waiting to invade my mind. This land of insanity is formed by pre-apocalyptic landscape. Houses, cars, fences, grass and many more man made constructions litter this world, making it terribly hard to escape the lurking fiends.
They hunt you down. They corner you. They tease you. They mess with your mind for a while. Then they eat you.
I dreamt of this, travelling in an endless journey. I saw familiar faces, pulled from memory. Each person had one zombie that would follow them around. The zombie seemed to change per lap. Some were particularly terrifying and some were too strong for me. I don't quite understand the point of these zombies. They didn't seem to be interested in actually killing people. They were all talk and no action.
I was getting pretty scared of the one that was following me. She shouted a lot and she kept grabbing my arms, trying to prevent my movement.
As she was shouting at me one last time, I paused the game and woke up.
That was an interesting twist to my dream.

Now I sit here at 2:22 AM and I dont want to sleep for fear of the game continuing.
Please, save me from monsters of my slowly unraveling mind.

I guess I should just face the dream world, whatever it may hold.
I've been having lots of nightmare-ish dreams recently.
I need to stop reading the scary book I'm reading then.

Okay, now that I have leaked enough of my madness into your brain, I can leave this now.
Good night

PS: First time blogging from my phone.

Sunday, January 1, 2012

2011: A Review

I write this a mere 20 minutes after 2011 ended.
Welcome to the new year.
Before I can begin with all that I have planned for this year, I feel I should look back at the year passed.
I changed a lot this year.
I entered High School. I made new friends and I learned a lot.
I guess I changed a lot socially.
I found new interests.
I think the highlight of this year was finding the YouTube community.
Having my perception of YouTube changed so much was a very big thing. I used to think YouTube was filled with music videos, parodies, cats, fat people falling over and supposed “ghosts” caught on camera. Now I have this amazing community of people, so many friends, more interests and a general better self.
I would not have found so many things without this life.
Nerdfighteria has changed my life.
All I could every say to Hank and John is thanks. This thanks radiates through my entire body and soul. I don’t know where I would be without it.
So many friends. So much new culture. So many inside jokes.
I love it.
Now, the beginning of my time in the land of awesome has ended, I can move on to the next chapter of life.
I have many blog posts to write and I have video blogs to make in the new year.
My collab should be up and running soon, so I shall be rather busy.
Juggling school, video blogging, learning German, a social life, internetting, learning guitar and more will be a task on it’s own, but I think I can do it.

I hope you have all had happy holidays and stuff.
Enjoy 2012. Let it be an awesome one. Also, don’t let us die.
Best wishes